This post started on Facebook, and I could see that I was willing to ramble on and on.  Who wants to read an essay on Facebook?  If it isn't under 3 sentences, is way too long.  And besides, I can use most of it for my "post a day" challenge for myself (which I am failing by the way, as I didn't write anything this weekend.  Yikes!). 

This video trailer brought tears to my eyes. There is a moment in this clip where the teen says that she knows if she was born in another country with this illness, she would probably not be alive. That's how I feel about my Bella, but for her, it would have been before the diabetes even set in. Type 2 folks can take control of their lives with a diet and lifestyle overhaul, and often they don't need insulin. You see, Type 2 folks have a pancreas that makes insulin. It just isn't getting into the cells. But not the Type 1 folks. Diet/ aka your food choices- does NOT cause Type 1. Its a very different illness entirely, where either no, or just very little insulin, is actually being made. Type 1 quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) affects every aspect of your child's life, and consequently yours too- and therefore affects every parental decision. A moment of "mom, I don't feel so good" can suddenly turn into a sweeping emergency. You are constantly asking "whats her blood sugar". Its the quiet hum of diabetes, constantly in the background.

I like to go about pretending things are fine, it doesn't affect us. And mostly, it doesn't.  Diabetes, for the most part, is a quiet hum in the background.  But when it isn't, its a tremendously loud noise in the foreground.   I am always wondering, how will I get her to fully take care of herself?  What if she decides to binge drink in her teens and early 20s?  It could actually kill her, something that's just a stupid phase for many young adults, can be deadly for a diabetic.   What about her eating habits? I am always telling her to not eat soo many chips or crackers, etc... because it will affect her sugar.  But I never say things like that to her sister.  Am I making her quietly self conscious about her eating habits?  Will I inflict some eating disorder by trying to keep her sugar in a health range? My concern list is sooo long, that I have to just set it aside, and deal with each moment as it comes to us.  Right now, those are not issues.  Right now, she just wants cake with her friends. And she CAN handle that just fine.  She is able to help figure out the carbs and insulin dose, and is able to draw and inject  the insulin herself.   I need to trust that ultimately, she wants to be healthy and knows how to do so.  Its just the loving support that she needs to bring herself there.