Wednesday, May 28, 2014
I think this all the time. Why? Why Diabetes? But why anything at all? Then I think other things... Diabetes for my daughter was caused by a terrible illness that she likely contracted while we were at a park. What if we were not there that day, what if we went somewhere else. What life would she have then? Maybe she would be invited to sleep over parties, and dinners. What life Would I have now? So much hardship since that one visit. But, maybe its not such a bad thing. How do I know its really negative? Is it true that its a negative thing that needs a cure? Maybe its just what my ego mind likes to think. I am attached to some idea that just isn't so. Anything can happen in life, the fact that we have life at all is remarkable. A blessing. I could choose to be upset about any number of things. Each time I let myself become upset, I think its because I am attached to an idea I put in my mind. Its not reality. Reality is Diabetes. Reality is Ecoli. Its whatever is out there, whatever I am dealing with in any given moment. Crazy things happen all the time. Are they really my enemy? How do I know that its true? Do we even really need a "cure" what would that be? What would a "cure" look like? Would it really "cure" anything? Its so funny, because my daughter will say things like "I love my diabetes" and"I love my life", and I think its because she perceives that it means she can eat sweet things from time to time to pick up her blood sugars. Maybe she feels like she gets some special treatment sometimes. I am not even 100% sure why she says it. But when do I ever say it? Maybe I should start. Such strength and love for every diabetic parent. Every parent indeed. Every person indeed.